Thursday, 15 December 2005

13th week scan

Had the 13th week scan today. Got a really bad sonographer, Rose, who did not have any bedside manners whatsoever. Bunnie was in tears :( Luckily we got a different one later, Maureen, who was gentle and caring, etc. Anyway, the result of the scans are thus:

- due to age of 40 - 1:51 chance of Downs, but after measurement of babies' neck thickness/size, chance has gone down to 1:201 for both babies. This is good news!
- cannot say 100% that they are not identical, but it LOOKS like they are paternal/2 eggs. This changes things somewhat as we were thinking they are identical (due to Scroggs saying they probably are) so if one is Downes, the other is Downes too. But now we have the situation where one could be Downes and the other normal! If this was the case then there are options (that we can think of):

  1. Continue with the pregnancy and have both kids, 1 normal and 1 Downes.
  2. Continue with the pregnancy and have both kids, 1 normal and 1 Downes and adopt out the Downes baby.
  3. Selectively terminate/abort the Downes baby.
Option 1 - we do not want to look after a Downes baby, especially if there is another to look after. They require more attention so the other twin will feel left out, they will get teased lots. Downes child is pretty much dependant on their parents for life.
Option 2 - we will end up with 1 normal child, but at the cost of never seeing the Downes baby. I could not stand this, knowing that there is a child of mine out there and never seeing them.
Option 3 - this is the only viable option, it is not a good one as it is a high risk procedure with a chance that the normal baby is terminated too. But unless there is a fourth option, this has to be it if the amniocentesis shows that one has Downes and one doesn't. If the amnio shows that both have Downes, then it means a total termination, this would be hard too but there's no way we would be looking after 2 Downes babies...

None of this stuff is easy...but we're talking low chances of any of this bad stuff happening. It's all very negative stuff, but we need to be aware of them. MOST babies are normal/healthy! which is what OURS will be! I'm actually happy to know that they are most likely not identical. Identicals are a bit of a freaky thing, nothing bad about them, just like a gimmick that gets labelled on them and they can never escape it. Having 2 babies that look different would be great (and gender too would be even better!), they would be less boring to look at, hehehehe.

Missed my hour of power today :(

So much for being motivated, I was too lazy to get up for my Hour of Power today :( I went to bed too late, playing on the net as usual, so was too tired in the morning. Already I'm failing :( But I must persevere as it will be worth it in the long run...I need to make it a MUST, not a SHOULD. If it WAS a MUST I wouldn't have gone to bed so late...there you go, it's not a must, I thought it was, but I was fooling many excuses not to do it...I'm too stressed at the moment, too much to do, too tired, too early, too this too that! I need to listen to the program more and get motivated, that's the problem...motivation. When I'm listening to Robbins, it's great, he's so motivational, gives so much energy that you feel like you can too, but it's gone so quick too.

Wednesday, 14 December 2005

First day of exercise!

I did it, I went out there and exercised for 20 mins, not 30 as I'd planned, but I got too nackered, lol. As I get better at it I'm sure I'll do 30 mins no probs.

Magic Moment: I am proud of myself for getting out there and exercising, today is the first day of a committment to improve my life.

Tuesday, 13 December 2005

Hour of Power

I make the decision to make the Hour of Power a MUST, not a SHOULD.

  1. Get up, MOVE, walk. Think of all the things that you are grateful for, feel gratitude for the things you have in your life. Recall your magic moments from yesterday, last week.
  2. Take 10 deep breaths, use ratio of 1:4:2.
  3. Focus on what you want and imagine already having it! Visualise it.
  4. While exercising at level 7 - INCANTATIONS out LOUD - "Every day in every way I'm getting stronger and stronger"
  5. Warm down - slow walk and repeat GRATITUDE and GRATEFUL things. Celebrate and capture having achieved this hour of power.

Magic Moment: Looking at the leaves waving in the wind outside the window. Trees are alive and beautiful. The sunshine on the trees are so warm and comforting.

Magic Moments

Just been listening to Tony Robbins - Get The Edge.

Magic Moments: I felt good drawing on the DVD that I just burnt of FFXII demo...I like drawing on them because Bunnie appreciates them and they bring a smile to her face. This is my first magic moment and I will document more of them as they happen.